Pause

Stop

Before you start.

Think

Or you might break his heart.

The lips and tongue

They are so quick

To wreak a havoc 

We can't always fix.

So just relax;

Take a beat.

There is no shame 

In a strategic retreat.

Busted Us

You and I, we were so close.

What happened to us?

Have I changed that much?

Or is it you who's different?

You and I, we had something special.

Something precious we swore would never end.

It was just that strong 

But then,

It did.

And yet we were so very sure...

Where did we go wrong, you and I?

Was it overconfidence that broke our stride?

Did we get so comfortable that we just stopped trying?

Or were we a mistake from the beginning?

All this wondering is futile I suppose.

I guess if we had the answers...

Well, who really knows?

At this point the only thing I can see clearly

Is that you plus I no longer makes a we.

Something Light

Chile you fine.

You so fine you make me go blind

To all others and that is a fact

You can carry with confidence

All the way to the bank.

Chile you so yummy,

Like thick, golden honey

I could eat with a spoon

So sweet and addictive

You know you're that good.

You like fine wine

That slowly gets better 

With the passage of time-

The best of the essence of the fruit of the vine.
A vintage so smooth and subtle and sublime,

One has to be careful 

What gets put on the plate

When you on the menu

It must be more than great

Because anything less

Would just be a waste.

Chile,

You so fine it's absurd.

And to capture it all,

There simply aren't enough words.

Zombie

There is no trace of sentiment,

No lines upon your face,

Nor vaguest of emotions,

Your mask firmly in place.

What are you really thinking?

What's going through your head?

Are you still among the living?

Or are you already dead?

Is that heart of yours still beating?

Can you even feel at all?

Do you care you've left me bleeding,

Maimed and sprawled out on the floor?

I'm cold and I am broken

But you don't give a damn.

You sit down and you watch me

With a disconcerting calm.

You yourself are driven 

By some inscrutable force;

Fueled by your mindless will,

A drone, a zombie of sorts.

It's On!

New day.

New lay.

New purpose,

Ok.
New perspective,

New say.
New directives
To obey.

New goals,

New clay.

New tools,

New way.

New battle,

New fray.

New addiction?

Not today.

New rules,

Let's play!

Blind, Deaf & Dumb

See no evil.

So no evil I see.

I close my eyes

And I go to sleep.

Hear no evil.

So no evil I hear.

I stop up my ears

And pray it'll all disappear.

Speak no evil.

So no evil I speak.

Just keep my mouth shut

And tongue in cheek.

Such precautions are vain and useless though

And for all my inaction,

Yet still 
...I know!

Bogey Nights

Yellow lights in windows glowing, 

A fire in the hearth is burning.

As blackness spreads over the land

Like a curtain drawn by an unseen hand,

Children lying snug in their beds

Dare not poke their little heads

Past the border of their covers

But lay there crying for their mothers.

Those still out on the roads

Hasten their steps back to their homes.

For the witching hour now approaches 

With the dark that now encroaches

Upon all havens and safe places; 

Old comforts have vanished leaving no traces, 

No more old haunts, no familiar faces.

Is this reality, or a bad dream?

That's a secret only dawn will reveal.

But in the meanwhile and for the time being

Terrors abound and the dead scream.

Today's Interlude: Bare Bones Commander

Here's another tune I came across recently. I credit Kelly Rowland for reviving electro-dance music in the States, and especially with introducing David Guetta to the American public. I may be blowing her role out of proportion but I definitely feel like she has played a major part in the current explosion of electronic pop. 

Commander was one of those songs I turned my nose up at the first time I heard it but then somehow ended up stepping to while walking down the street on my way to work. In this live performance, Kelly's taken the "charge" out of the music leaving behind a pure, organic sound. Stripping down the track to just an acoustic guitar and vocals is a refreshing take on this particular club banger, especially since it allows you to really appreciate Kelly's prowess as a singer as well as the melody itself. 

Happy

Happy.

What a lovely sound.

Happy.

A colour that looks good all around.

Happy.

Not something I just want to feel.

Happy.

Something I aspire to be.

Happy.

A state I aim to live in;

A place that is to love akin.

Happy.

Not a life for which I idly wait

But one I make in spite of fate.

Road Back from Purgatory

I've walked the road

Of crippling torments;

Had torturous pain

Buffet me in torrents.

And from the look in your eye

I can tell

You've traversed the flames

Of a burning hell

That's left its scars 

On you as well.

They say that misery

Loves company

A truth that resonates

For you and me-

Two spirits who bear

the mark of tragedy

Like a scarlet letter

For all who can see.

It's a bell that once sounded

Cannot be unrung,

A song that once entoned

Cannot be unsung;

The aftertaste 

Of a bitter fruit,

A residue that lingers 

Like vengeful soot

And taints the whole

From leaf to root.

Experiences hard 

But also precious,

The worth of which

You cannot measure.

For every blow,

Each crushing defeat,

The stabbing cold,

The unrelenting heat;

The raging storms 

That we have weathered

Have left us battered

But for them bettered.

Now through the testing

Of our mettle,

We know when to fight 

And when to settle.

With hearts made pure 

From malice and guile

We embark upon

The final miles 

That lead us back

From long exile. 

A Simple Prayer

I need a sense of direction,

Or a semblance of guidance;

Some sign or a token at least,

A word fitly spoken to give me some peace.

I need to receive a shred of assurance.

I don't need a bright light with the halleluiah chorus

Just something to help me believe that in my choices

I was not just deceived by trecherous voices;

That the hardships I've suffered

And the companionship I've offered

In sacrifice to the greater good

At the price of being misunderstood

Will be worth attaining my ultimate goal;

That I'll birth something precious

And watch great deeds unfold;

That the seeds sown through vision

In the depths of my soul

Will yield a harvest richer than any I've yet known.

In the meantime, may I be granted

In proportion to the task

Strength, courage and wisdom

If it's not too much to ask.

A Hundred Years of Tears

The things I've done,

The hurts I've borne, 

Those I've suffered for so long,

The folks I've wronged,

The wounds I've caused,

The people my actions have alarmed,

And the ones inadvertently brought to harm,

Inside my mind they swirl, they swarm

Like angry clouds in a violent storm.

A tempest that I try to quell

So I can reach a state of peace in which to dwell

But then, I find I might as well

Set up camp in a lions den

Or build a skyscraper atop a fen.

I'm always teetering on the edge

Of a full-blown maelstrom of emotions I dread.

Pent-up tears, like a river that swells

With each day that passes and with every breath,

Are ever present but always at arm's length.

I need release from what I feel 

I hear hounds of consequence nipping at my heels.

A ticking timebomb is what I am;

I can see the cracking in the dam.

I stand ankle deep in squelching mud.

I fear the coming of the flood.

When the walls I built finally come away

And that...

Well that could happen any day.

A Little Yuletide Ditty

As anyone who's ever done any kind of research on the web will tell you, the internet is a virtual minefield of distractions. Let your guard down for one second and you're sure to fall down any number of digital rabbit holes. And there's no point in wondering how you landed wherever you find yourself once you come back to your senses, because you just might remember that one intriguing link you didn't open during your joyride through cyber space and end up spiraling through the digital ether once again.

And with those few rambling lines, you know get how I happened upon this little number. Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas Is You is for many, including myself, a must for any holiday play list. I found this collab version with late night talk show host Jimmy Fallon and hip hop/neo soul band The Roots quite fun, if for no other reason than the sheer unexpectedness of this team-up. And I know, it's past mid-February and you're probably thinking I have no business posting a Christmas entry at this stage (especially given that I didn't put anything on here over the season), but, if you're no stranger to this blog, then you already know that I am a regular commuter on the late train. So, take a listen and enjoy anyway...

Final Voyage (Departure...)

Go gently now

Into the west.

Your work is done

You can find rest

Safe in the knowledge 

That you've done your best.

The sun sinks low

In the darkening sky;

The birds fill the air

With their evening cries

And land and sea 

Heave telling sighs.

Fear not the shades 

Of the gathering dusk,

Or wind that howls 

With every gust,
Or the creaking ship  

That on the waves bucks:

Your pathway is clear

And your guide you can trust.

Go, then, in peace

Your time has come.

Your race is over

And you have won.

You needn't fret 

Over what's left undone.

Pass on your torch 
To those who yet run

And who must still toil 
under the sun.

Adrift

You see I'm in pain

And ask what you can do.

I don't have an answer

But I confide in you.

I have no expectations,

I'm too overwhelmed

By the things that are happening.

I'm out of my depth.

I'm weak and exhausted.

I'm all out of fight.

All I can do now

Is float on the tide.

Unfeeling, unheeding

In these final throws,

I breathe out a sigh 

Then let myself go.

Existential Meltdown

Tell me how,

How can I

Know why,

Why it is 

That people die.

It is a mystery 

You see,

The reason for such misery.

So all I've got are piles of questions

Like so many unopened letters

That go against the engrained conventions

Drilled into my head by my so-called betters.

Questions.

Conventions.

Confusion.

Seclusion.

Doctrine.

And disillusion.

Fear,

Dispair

Over things that are unclear.

And wondering,

Always wondering

What the hell I'm doing here.

Closing the Door

Stay away.

I tried

But I can't anymore.

I don't know 

Who I am with you anymore.
I won't keep 
Going on like this anymore.

So I'm cutting all ties.

We need to live separate lives
Though I'm breaking inside.

And so I ask you

To stay away.

Not just for an hour

Or for a day

But forever and for always.

Pardon Undetermined

I'd be lying if I said 

I was completely over it.

Time is at work.

This much is certain.

But beyond that,

I can't give you any specifics

As to how long it'll be 

'Til I let you go free

From the hook of the resentment I still bear you.

I realise that such frankness is unusual.

That I'm not being very "p.c."

But I'm not in the mood

To sully my brain

Trying to shovel bullshit your way

For the sake of appearances

And socially approved formalities.

We're past that.

You said your piece.

I've spoken my mind.

So, maybe now 

We can move on with our lives.

I know I preach forgiveness,

And this attitude of mine

Feels like a load of hypocrisy

But you must realise

Some wounds cut much deeper than others,

And for a hurt of this kind

Any remedy I may need to apply

Will only take effect over time.

So then the question is not

If I'll forgive you, 

For I doubtlessly will,

But when.

When...
And how long until then?

Danger Incognito

A faceless ghost, 

A cheerless host,

A shadowless stalker,

A soundless walker.

In twilight shrouded.

Midnight prey confounded.

In the dead light surrounded.

Mimics the dark

Using gimmicks and art

And tricks that surpass

Instinctual street smarts.

A will harder than steel;

A presence you feel

By a sense that reveals

What absence would conceal

With pretense and false appeal.

But then, that's the deal.

This you now know.

Be careful what you sow,

So things don't start to grow

That you'll wish were not so

In the long years to follow,

While trying to swallow
Pills for the sorrow
Corroding the marrow
Of bones left dry and hollow.

Ironic Ensnarement

Walls of ice.

Spires of concrete.

Ramparts and moats.

All defences I've built

To keep some things out

And other ones in;

To reinforce the membrane

That was wearing too thin;

To hold off and negate

And prevent oversharing;

To nullify pain

And attentuate caring.

These cunning devices

Made to suit the specifics

Of my assailants' attacks 
And wily artifices,

I've found to be cruel

And treacherous in turn

Since now that I'm ready to open up, 
I learn

That this source of protection

Has become a trap

From which I cannot escape 

No matter how hard I tap

Against the barred windows

Or pick at the locks.

This prison's only answer

Is to jeer and to mock.

And so here I am

A fairytale in reverse

A prince in a tower

Needing deliverance from a curse.

Summer...

He is a tease; 

A flirt with eyes of gold

Or, at best, a respite from the cold.

The warmth he brings

A passing guest,

A stranger,

A traveller on a quest

En route to other parts

That he knows best.

A visitor.

A tourist.

A frequent flyer.

Not a resident

Or a citizen

But a gun for hire,

While winter's chilly arms are far reaching

Ever groping,

Ever seeking.

Even during her time away,

Her icy fingers often stray

Into pools where children splash and play.

She recks nothing of the glad sun's rays

That bathe the land in estival days.

Her caress an echo of attenuated power,

A predator awaiting her hour,

A grip relaxed but not released;

A victor preparing for the feast.

So what then is summer to a child

Birthed by the waters of a tropical tide

But a brief truce, a merry farce

A pale imitation to make the gods laugh;

An offering to placate and mellow

Before a fresh onslaught 

From the frost giants' bellows?

Summer...

A living vision, a waking dream

That dissipates like a puff of steam

On the breath of a frozen scream.
Transient,
Ethereal,
And surreal.

Knowing

In stillness;

In silence,

In illness 

Without violence.

In sombre, 

Semi-dormant wonder

Shaken by a noiseless thunder.

In waning peace,

In the ebbing of pleasure,

Find release

In sweet surrender

To living torrents,

Carried by their guiding currents;

Existing within finite moments.

Steeped in tragedy,

Embroiled in drama,

In deepest melancholy,

Respect for karma

A shining light in time of need

When hope is nothing but a seed

Assailed by vicious, strangling weeds.

In brightest day,

In darkest night 

Brook no delay

The end is in sight.