Dog Days

It's one of those days.

One of those days

Where the world seems closed.

It's one of those days

Where la vie en rose

Has faded into

Life in shades of brown and beige and gray.

It's one of those days.

One of those days 

When you just want to say,

I give up.

It's one of those days

When pounding the pavement

Sends shock waves straight up to your brain

Leaving you with a mother of a headache.

It's one of those days.

One of those days

Where even the possible 

Looks improbable,

Intangible,

Unhaveable.

One of those days

Where what you thought you knew

Becomes untrue

And you stand reeling, 

Focusless
In a haze of apathy,

Wandering blindly through a foreign reality.

It's one of those days.

One of those days

When faith is all that's left,

When you can't even trust yourself,

When all the things you felt

Are uncertain,

When you're bowed and twisted and bent

A heavy, sinking slave to gravity,

When all that's left
Is to stay right where you've knelt.

Possible.

Haveable.

Believeable.

Tangible.

Hands uplifted,

Reaching for the unfathomable,

Holding out for your miracle.

Pledge

In the darkness

And when you can't see clear,

You'll feel my love

And know that I am near.

In the silence

Or when it's too hard to hear,

I'll hold your hand;

You'll know that I am there.

I will be a shelter 
From the driving rain.

I will bring you joy 
In the midst of blinding pain.

When all others have left you, 
I'll always remain;

When you're going crazy, 
I'll stand by and keep you sane.

But if you cannot see me;

If my touch you can't seem to feel,

Think on all we've been through

And remember this is real.

When other voices tell you

I have let you go astray,

Call on me, I'll answer

I am never far away.

When you're going through a struggle

And it seems you're on your own,

I will not leave you comfortless.

You won't be carrying it alone.

When your friends don't understand you;

When your spirit's parched and dried,

Know I've counted every teardrop

Because I never left your side.

And when all else has failed you,

When you're shaken and disturbed,

Know that I am always with you,

I have given you my word.

Need to Know

Talk to me.

I've been waiting

But you've been silent.

Just talk to me.

I have my theories- 

Educated guesses- 

About all of this.

But you and I both know

That it's just a fancy way of saying

I have no clue what's going on.

So talk to me.

Make it clear.

'Cause I feel like I'm stagnating in here.

When people ask questions,

I have nothing to respond

And I look like a fool,

Or worse- a pawn!

Tell me is there a purpose,

Or are You just having fun?

Just talk to me.

That's all I'm asking.

Talk to me.

So I know what You're thinking.

Fragments

 

Perfect strangers

Huddled at the bus stop

In the pouring rain,

United in an instant

By a cigarette stick

Sharing a moment of release

And a mutual need for a nicotine hit…

************

People scare me.

Standing in the shower,

I can let my voice ring out-

Just open my mouth

And sing.

But in company,

It’s quite another thing:

My blood turns cold

And I feel myself freeze.

Terror petrified,

I can barely breathe

Much less utter a single word

If I get even an inkling

That I might be observed.

******************

You know just what I’m thinking,

Even when the words become obstacles

And get in the way.

In times of need,

You always know the right thing to say.

I never have to explain my feelings

Because you feel them too

And I never fear your judgement

‘Cause you understand the things I go through.

In the dark I am never alone

Because you have a way of making

The scariest of places

Feel comfortable like home.

Even when I can’t feel you,

I know I’ll be just fine

‘Cause our connection holds true

Across oceans and time.

****************

There are many things

That I don’t know:

Like how far away the sun is,

Or what makes flowers grow.

And when you think it over,

There are many reasons you could come to

As to just why I am not

The perfect one for you…

***************

…But how do you end a chapter,

Turn the page

And shut the door

On one whose role

Is central to the story?

****************

My brain feels raped.

I feel the shame

Of a fall from grace.

A hopeless case,

My jumbled words spill out all over the place…

A babbling brook,

An insipid book,

Sitting alone in a tight, cramped nook

Trying to communicate with just a look.

Fatigue of the mind

For quite some time

Searched far and wide

Only to find

The legends had lied

About the treasures people hide

And at the end of the rainbow,

There was no grand prize.

Funhouse Prism

 

Light shines in

And I go to pieces
In my cocoon 
Of swaddling fleeces.

Another day begins

And I'm so not ready.
I take a deep breath;
Try to keep my feet steady.

Don't tell me

That I'll just have to

Toughen up and take it

'Cause honestly

I don't have the strength

To fake it.

Another day has come

And I'm still on the run.

I'm just so tired of trying,

Trying just to make it.

Tell me what your secret is.

How d'you stop yourself from going crazy?
With force of character and sheer strength of will?
Or little purple pills maybe?

Is it just that you are

An actor extraordinaire?

Are you certified in make believe?

An architect of castles in the air?

Perhaps you are a master

of the art of slight?

Or are you yourself a kind of mirage

A warp inside my mind

Made visible by shifting shadows

Or some strange trick of the light?

Whatever your strategy
You pull it off so flawlessly
That I can't help but marvel at
The smoothness of the act.

Meanwhile I
Can't help but cry
While stuck inside this maze
Dreaming only of better days
When I'll not only see the sky
But take a leap of faith
And fly...

Adrift

You see I'm in pain

And ask what you can do.

I don't have an answer

But I confide in you.

I have no expectations,

I'm too overwhelmed

By the things that are happening.

I'm out of my depth.

I'm weak and exhausted.

I'm all out of fight.

All I can do now

Is float on the tide.

Unfeeling, unheeding

In these final throws,

I breathe out a sigh 

Then let myself go.

The Self Sufficient Man

Talk your talk, oh idle man
You walk and live as best you can
You play a part and go along
Like there's no greater plan.

You sit in high seats of government,
Or enthroned at the local bar,
You talk as if you knew it all,
When the truth is,
You are so far.

You say you have no use at all
For king or faith or creed
Yet are swift to cry out Oh God
When you find yourself in need.

Oh man, so proud,
So infinitely wise,
You fail to see the simple truth
Lying right before your eyes.