Enemy Inside

Be careful when you go.

Watch your back.

Take care.

Words of warning

Spoken out of love and fear.

Admonition

Meant to guard against

The dangers lurking somewhere "out there."

Words

Assimilated and passed on.

Words

Turned tradition;

Handed down from father to son.

Words

That I have taken to heart.

Words

That have kept me 

Alert and sharp.

So when in your turn

You stepped into my world,

I wanted to welcome you

But for those words

Reminding me of the threat

That you in your innocence

Could potentially represent.

And without realising it,

Instinct took hold

Sending me into 

Self defense mode.

I threw up the walls.

I launched the grenades.

I pulled out the stops,

And went on crusades

All in an attempt

To protect myself

From the wildling,

The enemy,

Inside my fence.

Now looking back

Reluctantly,

I have finally come to see

That in all of my vigilant savagery 

The real beast in the story

Turned out to be me. 

Bogey Nights

Yellow lights in windows glowing, 

A fire in the hearth is burning.

As blackness spreads over the land

Like a curtain drawn by an unseen hand,

Children lying snug in their beds

Dare not poke their little heads

Past the border of their covers

But lay there crying for their mothers.

Those still out on the roads

Hasten their steps back to their homes.

For the witching hour now approaches 

With the dark that now encroaches

Upon all havens and safe places; 

Old comforts have vanished leaving no traces, 

No more old haunts, no familiar faces.

Is this reality, or a bad dream?

That's a secret only dawn will reveal.

But in the meanwhile and for the time being

Terrors abound and the dead scream.

Chicken

Jam the accelerator to the floor pad

Can you feel the adrenalin pumping through your body, man?

See my opponent in the rear view,

Next minute he's caught up with me from out of the blue.

Racing at top speed to the road's end;

Hear my co-pilot try to soothe his nerves by counting down from ten.

Thinking of the drop waiting for us at the edge,

I feel my pulse quicken and break into a sweat.

Do I have the stomach? Will my constitution fail?

Not knowing what the answer is, my heart begins to quail.

Rounding the final corner, as the precipice appears

I steady my hands, steel my nerve and send up frantic prayers.

On Hold

A hollow drum, 

An empty shell, 

A chilly, numbing kind of hell

Where a shapeless nothing has come to dwell.

Lost the will to move or think,

And here suspended,

I feel myself sink

And realise that I teeter on the brink 

Of a gulf before which I cringe and shrink.

Deaf to ambition's strident call;

Lost to friends and family who scold and warn,

Far from feeling lonely and forlorn, 

I find I don't feel anything at all.

And from the depths of this new low,

I wonder how much further this will go.

There couldn't possibly be more below;

Nothing worse could ever follow.

If this is rock bottom,

Then surely, I soon will rise.

But if not, then what unsavoury surprise

Lays hidden past the scope of my eyes?

For now, I confess I'd rather not be told.

I wanna let it go and wait for things to unfold.

Just turn off the lights and get into bed;

Pull the covers over my head.

At this moment, I prefer not to know.

Good night world. We'll pick things up tomorrow.

Aviary Revolution

No more dark thoughts of dread

Like thunder pounding in my head.

No more long nights lying awake

In fear of the searching light of daybreak.

No more of the excuses that I once wore

Like dirty bandages over putrid sores.

No more cringing at the stares I've borne

From soulless children of the corn.

Content no more with the crusts of bread

That keep me little more than dead.

No more! I say. Nay, I cry!

While from mountain peaks that touch the sky

My soul, unfettered from the earth,

Takes wing and soars amidst the mirth

Of freedom's wind and bliss' rain

Far from the dying echoes of pain.

Fear of Bliss

I feel like shit
Shit is how I feel
Need to get it out
And tell the universe about my crap
Otherwise I fear
I will explode
With all the things I leave
Unsaid.
And all the questions in my head
All the people I try to avoid
All the ways I try to hide
Behind a curtain
Hastily contrived
To screen my eyes
From scrutiny.
That’s the way I get my therapy
I talk of flying
Of liberty
But when I come to take the leap
I choke
Standing just upon the
Brink
I cry and plead
For an open door
To get me out of box and cage
To spread my wings and soar
Above river and mountain and plain
But once freedom’s wish is granted
I panic
And wedge myself into a corner
And pray for open spaces,
Friendly faces
In far off exotic places...
A sure end to all my sorrow
An end for sure,
...But tomorrow