Scar Tissue

I didn't know 

You could affect me like this.

I hadn't realised 

How deep you'd gotten under my skin.

It wasn't til I took a closer look

At the places I'd been,

That I got the real picture

Of the damage within.

I've had time to heal 

From the havoc, burns and breakings

But deep inside there's still a dull aching

That I cannot reach

And it's taking all I've got to stop myself shaking

From the chills that I feel 

At the memory of you

Buried deep underneath

Layers of scar tissue.

Once you were out of my life,

I simply moved on.

I never thought about you.

Not even once.

But for some reason lately,

You've been on my mind;

I can't seem to shut you out.

Believe me, 

I've tried.

I tell myself over and over again

There's no need,

No need at all for me to dwell

On stuff that happened way back when.

But it isn't that simple

And I cried

When I understood how much it's affected my life.

I took it for granted 

When my wounds disappeared,

That all was forgiven,

I had nothing to fear,

The past was behind me,

The future was here.

But it was just this scar tissue

Numbing me at the point where

There was a major issue

And I couldn't see clear.

Now I see for myself

How much I surrendered 

Through ignorance of my health,

How all of the pain that I had disguised

Had me running on fumes.

Fumes made from lies

That created a spectre like a monstrous tower

That loomed high above me 

In whose shadow I cowered.

Now I've found the courage

To reclaim my power.

Now I won't let you daunt me

No matter how much you glower.

 Now I have the remedy 

That truth brought home to me:

Love and forgiveness

Have healed me fully.

Now the hurt and the pain 

Are gone finally.

And the marks on my flesh,

Those dark, ugly scars

They are bookmarks of lessons learnt

And now, that's all they are.

State of Angst

Amber lights,

Ghetto nights:

Cougar on her haunches strikes;

In the dimness of the day,

Others hover round their prey.

Each stalking some elusive thrill:

Hungry, greedy for the kill.

Tangential acts of random violence

Explode like bombs in the frigid silence.

And the watchers stand and gaze

Like spectres silhouetted by the blaze,

Eyes aglaze with dancing flames, 

As sheets of green and purple haze

One by one the stars erase.

But who would dare defy the rage

Of the bird who sings inside her cage

Desperate for her state to change:

A chance to flap her wings and fly

On a wind that lifts her up on high?

But she, condemned to sit and stare,

Conjuring up castles in the air,

Tries her hardest not to care

While those around her, paralysed by fear,

Wait in apathy as doom draws near.

Liftoff from Normalcy

A 9 to 5? Nah, not for me.

Don't wanna be no desk jockey.

Don't wanna see just black or white

Or even shades of grey,

I want colours that pop,

And sizzle in the light of day.

Give me sounds that throb and echo back

Like living souvenirs

Of the sights I've seen, 

The places I've been,

And the people I met in between.

I want to be cut loose

From the tethers that keep me on the ground

And fly with no cold walls to surround;

Just the wind in my hair, in my ears, in my face

As higher and higher I soar and I race.

I want to explore the ocean depths

And take a tour of Mars.

I'd like to camp out on the moon

And make music with the stars.

I want to take naps in the clouds

And dance on mountain tops.

I'd love to sing under a waterfall

With the river marking time on the rocks.

I feel the beat as the rain plays drums

On glossy rainforest leaves,

And the desert wind like a warm gust of air

From the sigh a giant heaves.

Though, the ordinary is all right at times,

It just is not my speed.

The ordinary and the mundane

Just don't fulfil my needs.

And while I can appreciate consistency,

Too much of it moves me to flee.

And a constant state of normalcy,

Just ain't the life for me.

No Frills

Ah, to be absolutely carefree!

Maybe, just maybe

If I forgot the comparisons and just be me

I'd see

I'd be flying 

Fetterless, 

Chainless, 

Painless 

And weightless,

Ever blessed,

Making my way into the West.

No harness;
No tether,

No stress
No anxiety

Or heavy duress,

Just free

To be

Simply 

Me.

Aviary Revolution

No more dark thoughts of dread

Like thunder pounding in my head.

No more long nights lying awake

In fear of the searching light of daybreak.

No more of the excuses that I once wore

Like dirty bandages over putrid sores.

No more cringing at the stares I've borne

From soulless children of the corn.

Content no more with the crusts of bread

That keep me little more than dead.

No more! I say. Nay, I cry!

While from mountain peaks that touch the sky

My soul, unfettered from the earth,

Takes wing and soars amidst the mirth

Of freedom's wind and bliss' rain

Far from the dying echoes of pain.