All In

I'm trying not to be sad.

But it's a battle I can't win.

A part of me is focused

On all the positive things- 

The prospect of the unknown

Gives me an electric thrill.

But another part,

The one I can't control,

Chokes on all the bitter fumes

Of dreams going up in smoke.

So much effort wasted

Planting seeds that have not grown.

And so I'm spinning,

Disoriented.

Oscillating between

Peace, contentment

And dread of the unseen:

Teetering in tenuous equilibrium

Waiting for the drop.

Only question is, 

When?

When will the wheel of fate

Finally come to a stop?

Then, 
What hand will the dealer pay out?

And,
 If it comes to sudden death,

Could I stick it out?

But in the moments just before the fall

It all goes eerily quiet

As I purposefully choose to trust,
Drawing strength from a world gone silent.
I accept the things I do not know.
I let Faith fill me up.

I relinquish all the might-have-beens
And,

Surrendering, 

I take the plunge.

Army of One

It only takes one voice

To make a difference,

One tiny dislodged pebble

That loosens another 

And brings on an avalanche.

One time is all it takes

For a habit to begin to form

And a single word,

Spoken with boldness- 

A single no,

A simple yes-

Can trigger change

Through the power of influence.

Chicken

Jam the accelerator to the floor pad

Can you feel the adrenalin pumping through your body, man?

See my opponent in the rear view,

Next minute he's caught up with me from out of the blue.

Racing at top speed to the road's end;

Hear my co-pilot try to soothe his nerves by counting down from ten.

Thinking of the drop waiting for us at the edge,

I feel my pulse quicken and break into a sweat.

Do I have the stomach? Will my constitution fail?

Not knowing what the answer is, my heart begins to quail.

Rounding the final corner, as the precipice appears

I steady my hands, steel my nerve and send up frantic prayers.