In Ward (Silent Screams)

I hurt myself again today.

I didn't mean to this time, 

I swear!

It was just so easy

And I didn't think anybody would care.

I hurt myself today.

I really fought it though-

Until other thoughts got in the way.

But I swear I did, at first!

Of all the people on this planet,

I must be the worst.

I hurt myself

But it has nothing to do with you.

I hadn't done it in a while.

And it hurt like hell in the beginning
But then, it made me smile.

I hurt myself today

To lighten some of the load
And ease the burning in my body
From the fires consuming my soul.

And even though everyone else says
That I am only a child,

My legs they feel so heavy-

And I...
I'm just so tired.

I hurt myself today.

Don't ask me to explain

I won't help you understand

Because unless you yourself have been here,

I don't think you can.

I hurt myself again today;

Came pretty close to the edge.

And it's my fear 

And it's my hope

That one day I'll go far enough

To finally escape this earth.

I hurt myself today,

So I have lost my freedom.

They say I'm just looking for attention,

Suffering from boredom,

Trying to gain extra affection

And so I am deprived,
Chastised,
Left alone with my reflection.

I hurt myself again today.

I hear approaching footsteps.
Quick, and quiet.
Inwardly defiant,
Passive and obedient.

I hurt myself today
But nobody knows it.
Time I got back into bed.

Best that I stay silent.

Anyway there is no more to be said.
I'll numb expression, look content.
Hush now!
Roll over, play dead.

They're on their way to check my head.