Happy Gaffe-Day

Walk into walls;

Slam doors

At the precise moment

When subtlety and a delicate hand are required.

Groan inwardly

And maybe cuss a little under your breath.

Feel the burning flush

As blood floods the face

In a volcanic rush.

Look for a place to hide:

A rock to crawl under

Or some hole to slither into,

Just to find yourself

Naked in front of a crowd,

In a wide open space

With nowhere to run

And no shelter to be found.

All eyes on you.

Yup, it's all for you.

That's right it is all about you baby!

Today is your day.

It's your time to shine:

A crimson flame

Against their cold, frigid stares.

So close your eyes and make a wish

But try not to trip over yourself in the process

And wind up in an even bigger mess

Or dig yourself in any deeper

Than ya already are.

Just roll over;

Play dead

And maybe things will die down on their own.

But in the meantime

Blow out your candles

While I raise my glass to you.

Happy gaffe-day boo!