In Memoriam

A feeling

Like dancing butterflies

Leading to astounding feats

Of abdominal acrobatics.

Joy, delight,

Brave devil-may-care face

And taking of risk;

Knife in hand,

The world is my oyster.

Willingness,

Initiative,

Drive and strength:

Feeling like I can heal the world.

Then, at a word,

A heedless act

Of innocent ignorance...

Sudden spiraling, dizzying,

Heart-stopping freefall

Into chasms of winter,

Subzero temperatures;

Walling willing tears

Behind thick palisades of ice

And heavily guarded bulwarks.

Adieu to this emotional roller coaster.

The ride stops here.

So I celebrate this Mass

In memoriam of you

Elusive heart:

House of delusive visions,

Menagerie of glass figurines

Feigning the appearance of diamonds.

I stand at your graveside

In mock mourning

Over your throbbing form,

all the while knowing

you will one day rise from your sepulchre

Like some vengeful zombie

Bent on wreaking the havoc

Or nervous euphoria

That is your design.

Awash with regret

for the time wasted

not knowing how to put you to use,

preferring to shut you away.

But in the meantime,

I will walk in free, unfeeling purity.

Back turned to the headstone

which simply reads:

To my heart, in memoriam...