In yet another divergence from what I usually post here, I'm putting up a short reflection:
As children, we all start out with the fresh eyes of innocence. We charge through life with the madness of sheer abandon. That is, until we learn that to live is to suffer and to trust is to leave ourselves open to being hurt. So we develop mechanisms and stratagems to protect ourselves and to get before we get got.
And on the way to the goal that we tell ourselves is maturity, we leave behind pieces of ourselves- exchanging intuition and faith for logic and reason while the magic fades from our world. We unthinkingly accept what is imposed on us, sacrificing independence, imagination and free creativity at the alter of the status quo.
We imprison our hearts behind walls of fallacy and feign impermeability because we have learned that it is dangerous to feel or, in any case, to let others know that we feel. We internalize the notion that it is weak to cry and nurture the idea that unbridled joy or excitement belies desperation. So we stifle our feelings.
These are the things I have come to realize when I have taken the time to silence the voices of obligation, responsibility , guilt, fear- the dramatic clamour of the outside world. When I sat still and talked with God in the quiet hours of the day, in my mind’s eye I saw the little boy I used to be and wondered with a pang of remorse, whether he would be happy with the person he grew up to be.
With this in mind, I choose to forgive:
First, myself for the needless pain I have inflicted upon myself and others
God (as paradoxical, and possibly blasphemous, as that may sound). I forgive
Him for the perceived injustices I have blamed on Him.
My family, friends, co-workers and random strangers for the wrongs they
have done and which I have unconsciously carried with me through the years.
Yes. I forgive, because it is the first step toward healing and getting past those things that lie at the heart of all my insecurities.
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