Infiltrated

So you think you know it all.

You think you're safe.

You think your precautions

Are all that it will take

To keep you protected

And away from harm.

You put stock in technology

And cutting edge alarms.

Well,

You might have been right

But for all your strategizing

You forgot one thing,

That crucial element

You should've factored in.

You're smart and resourceful

But your adversary is more cunning still.

With honey on his tongue and jewel encrusted smile

He slowly took you in

And so you hesitated

When you should have made the kill.

And he laid low

For a hot minute or so

While you rested on the laurels

Of victories won long ago.

And so it happened

That while you slept,

He pressed the advantage

And silently crept

Through all your proud defenses,

Your walls and your electric fences.

All your hi-tech sensors have been undermined

Along with systems for early warning

And you have been kept blind.

But even now you cannot see

That it's too late

For, you see the enemy

Already stands within your gates.

Return to Start

The two of us share a history

Or, shall we say,

A checkered past?

We got along so awkwardly

I'm not surprised 

Things fell apart.

We existed in each other's space

No more, no less

And somehow I just accepted it;

Told myself it was for the best.

I was hurt by you.

Felt estranged from you.

Abandoned.

You were the enemy.

The intruder.

The invader who

Had no business in my territory

Trying to bring law and order.

So I rebelled.

I used fire.

I raised hell.

But you weren't afraid

And you pushed back;

Asserted your claim.

So I gave up.

Retreated into myself.

Let my garden turn into a wilderness.

Shut myself up in a cave.

Packed myself in ice,

Thinking that would cool the flame.

Took no account of global warming

Or the fact things move in cyclical waves.

Now my winter forteress has melted

And I'm burning again.

So the only way to stop this cycle,

The only way to break this curse

Is to shift gears; move into reverse

And go back to the place

Where I should have started first.

Only time doesn't work like that.

You can never go back.

Least that's what I've learnt about the past:

You can't change it.

You don't get a do-over.

You remember it.

Until you don't

Because it no longer matters.

But it does to me 

And therein lies the problem.

So I've returned to you

For a healthy side of crow.

And I can't predict how this will end,

This only do I know:

You can't pull a relationship out of thin air.

You can't get back what never was.

But you've gotta start somewhere.

Enemy Inside

Be careful when you go.

Watch your back.

Take care.

Words of warning

Spoken out of love and fear.

Admonition

Meant to guard against

The dangers lurking somewhere "out there."

Words

Assimilated and passed on.

Words

Turned tradition;

Handed down from father to son.

Words

That I have taken to heart.

Words

That have kept me 

Alert and sharp.

So when in your turn

You stepped into my world,

I wanted to welcome you

But for those words

Reminding me of the threat

That you in your innocence

Could potentially represent.

And without realising it,

Instinct took hold

Sending me into 

Self defense mode.

I threw up the walls.

I launched the grenades.

I pulled out the stops,

And went on crusades

All in an attempt

To protect myself

From the wildling,

The enemy,

Inside my fence.

Now looking back

Reluctantly,

I have finally come to see

That in all of my vigilant savagery 

The real beast in the story

Turned out to be me. 

The Core

It's not about the job.

It's not about the money.

It's about your purpose

And the reason for the journey.

Older & Wiser

 

A hand extended,

Proferred but rejected.

Unsure of what 

The act portended,

Choosing rather to remain

Unmended.

And through long years

Left unattended.

By obscurity 

Befriended

'Til at last 

Unbidden, unheralded,

Came to pass the unexpected:

Come poetic second chance

The power

To redeem the past;

To regain that which you forsook

In the folly 

Of unlearned youth.

Come full circle

Initial rhyme 

Ever-turning 

Wheel of time.

What to do with second chance,

Which might just turn out to be the last?

Change the past,

Or take a pass?

Try something new

And unexpected.

Go beyond what you intended,

Face the fear,

The unknown, the dreaded.

Verdant olive branch

Extended,

And all broken fences

Mended.

Wildest hopes and dreams

Excelled.

Story over.

Happily ended.

A Time to Forgive

There's a time and purpose

To everything:

A time to wound,

A time to heal;

A time to gather,

A time to spill,

A time to nurture,

A time to kill.

I've spent a lifetime battling

The way I feel-

I've cried, I have shouted,

I have made myself ill.

I've lied and denied 

To make the loss look like a win

So I wouldn't have to deal with

The pain I was in.

I said I was fine

When really I was strugglin',

Turned a blind eye to weakness;

Tried to cover up sin,

Until I got to the point

Where I started drownin'

Dangerously close

To the point of no returning.

Then, faced with a choice,

And no pretense to shroud it,

Between accepting the lifeline

Floating where I could reach it

And falling into darkness

With no light to ease it.

Fiercely determined 

That I would yet live,

I reached for the cord

And I tightened my grip. 

Now one thing remained 

To get out of guilt

I had to lighten my load

For I was too heavy to lift.

So releasing the tension,

I stopped gritting my teeth

And felt life returning

As I chose to forgive.  

Again (Einstein's Insanity)

I've done it again.

I've gone 

And put my foot in where

I ought to have refrained.

I tried my hardest

And yet failed.

I gave my love

But it proved vain.

I trod ground 

Where armies quailed

And braver men fell

While women wailed.

But nothing ventured,

Nothing gained

So I went at it

Unashamed.

Now I find,
To my dismay,
And despite lessons learnt
Along the way,
That pushing on 
Against the grain,

I've gone and done it 
Once again.

Weather False-Cast

Fair to partly cloudy

With a risk of scattered showers,

And I was ready for a lovely day.

Wasn't worried 'bout the rain 

'Cause I knew it'd go away;

When it came

The sun would always be there
To shield me from the pain.

So when the drops they started fallin'

I didn't think it was a warnin',

Never been afraid of a little gray.

Wasn't til some hours later 

When the drops had grown much greater,

That I suspected gloom was here to stay.

Well the weatherman was talkin'

'Bout all the systems workin'

In the atmosphere 

Said there wouldn't be a problem;

All my concerns he'd solve 'em

Now I wanna know what's goin' on round here.

I'm talkin' to you Weatherman.

You ain't nothin' but a charlatan.

You sold me bundles of false hope

With your slick smile and the words you spoke.

So I'm callin' you out Mr. Weatherman

Speak up now, if you can.

I heard the thunder rolling in the distance

And decided it was time to listen

For an update from the radio.

I knew it was a bad omen

When the wind that had been sighin'

Began to scream and then to roar.

Next came the forecast I'd been dreadin'

And confirmed the thing that I'd been guessin':

I was caught out in a raging storm.

It's flash floods and landslides

And people fearin' for their lives.

I can't believe that this could happen

Just when I should be relaxin';

I'm caught up in a war of elements

When I never enlisted or gave my consent.

Gale force winds,

Water on the rise,
Pounding surf;

Lightening flashes 

Make me want to hide.

A small craft advisory is in force,

I doubt if it could get much worse.

I know this storm is not your fault

But you should have known to warn me first.

I never saw it comin',

Got blindsided this mornin',

I mean I was so damn unprepared.

This thing it hit me at unawares

When you should have had my back

And I will always blame you for that.

Talkin' to you Weatherman,

Cruel, heartless charlatan.

With your good looks and boyish charm

You took me in and you disarmed

And put me in the way of harm

Instead of sounding the alarm.

Talkin' to you Weatherman,

Slick, smooth talkin' snake oil man.

Talkin' to you Weatherman,

I survived despite your plan.

Talkin' to you Weatherman,

I'll never fall for you again.

Surrendering

It's not about the battle,

It's about the victory. 

It's not the destination,

It's about what you gain from the journey.

It's not about the money,

It's about the value of your soul;

It's not the diploma

It's about the experiences that help you grow.

It's not about the struggles,

It's the rewards they bring.

It's not about all the noise they make,

It's about the message in the words they sing.

It's not about the things you hear

From the voices that whisper in your ear,

It's about the truth taking root like a plant

Sprouting from the seed God sowed deep in your heart.

It's not about the circumstances,

Pay no attention to the things you see.

It's not about where you are today,

What matters is who you choose to be.

Tortoise Wisdom

'Could you be any slower?'

Said the hare to Brother Tortoise,

'Why, I could run to the edge of the world

and back and you'd still be on your doorstep!'

'I don't mind all that Brother Hare,'

replied he in slow deliberate tone,

'As long as I reach my destination,

I don't mind at all how long it takes.'

The years wore on

and Brother Hare continued to run.

He zipped and zoomed

til he almost flew,

growing faster with each passing day.

Brother Tortoise kept on his steady gait,

never faltering in his discipline.

He watched the hare rush

madly toward the end of his days.

It was the same for the hare's son,

grandson and down the line-

Blowing through life

At the speed of sound,

Seeing but never understanding,

hearing but never listening.

The tortoise's life was not so;

He received the greatest prize of all:

For you see,

In taking the time to live,

Brother Tortoise really lived.

Divestment

It's time...

For all the years spent trying:

Be stalwart, be calm,

Patient and kind,

Yet ever armed;

Be wise and subtle,

Be firm and yet humble;

Be genuine but know how to fake,

Bend like the green willow but never break;

Never let them see behind your game face... 

All the while knowingly lying

For the sake of conforming

To social grace.

The walls I built with reinforced steel

Turned into a prison that would not yield

Even to my hand, 

When, at last a man,

I came to understand

That in weakness there can be strength

In awkwardness, stealth

And underneath poverty, untold wealth.

When at last I opened my eyes

Finally beginning to realise

That I'd read the signs wrong

That I'd been brainwashed all along

Into thinking I needed to kill

All the while amassing debt in an unpayable bill,

Keeping me enslaved, effacing my will;

Leaving me numb, soulless and ill

But demanding more and even more still...

So I decided

It's time:

Time to let go

Time to strip off all the masks and pretense and ego

Time to look into the mirror and finally know

What's really there so I can undergo

The metamorphosis that must inevitably follow...

Time to put all I've learnt to the test.

Time to come face to face with my best.

Time to be strong and leave fear powerless.  

Time to be vulnerable, not time to hide.

And at the edge of this decision, I cried.

Shameless...