Looking Glass

When I look into the mirror

At the face staring back at me

On the other side of the treated glass

I see many things.

Sometimes I like what I see:

Beauty, elegance,

Strength and character,

A sparkle of charisma,

Glowing personality.

Who wouldn't be attracted

By such a stunning likeness?

Then I realise it.

Something is wrong-

Is it the reflection?

Or is it something

On my side of the glass?

I find the need to adjust the light

And then I can see

All that remained hidden by the shadows:

Blemishes and scars

That I preferred not to think about;

Parts that need washing, cleansing, purifying;

That my hair needs to be combed,

My teeth brushed,

My breath freshened,

I need a shave too...

I shut my eyes and reach for the switch

Desperate to regain the image

That for so long had held my gaze,

But something is wrong,

For that reflection has lost its appeal.

And all my pride and vanity

Cannot prevail

Against the truth revealed by the Light.

Oh to God I had remained in ignorance!

But it is not so.

And now the choice is mine to make-

Between Truth and Lies,

Freedom and Bondage...

Knowing that either choice will be difficult.

And that no matter which one I choose,

Something in me

Will have to die.

Surrendering

It's not about the battle,

It's about the victory. 

It's not the destination,

It's about what you gain from the journey.

It's not about the money,

It's about the value of your soul;

It's not the diploma

It's about the experiences that help you grow.

It's not about the struggles,

It's the rewards they bring.

It's not about all the noise they make,

It's about the message in the words they sing.

It's not about the things you hear

From the voices that whisper in your ear,

It's about the truth taking root like a plant

Sprouting from the seed God sowed deep in your heart.

It's not about the circumstances,

Pay no attention to the things you see.

It's not about where you are today,

What matters is who you choose to be.

Divestment

It's time...

For all the years spent trying:

Be stalwart, be calm,

Patient and kind,

Yet ever armed;

Be wise and subtle,

Be firm and yet humble;

Be genuine but know how to fake,

Bend like the green willow but never break;

Never let them see behind your game face... 

All the while knowingly lying

For the sake of conforming

To social grace.

The walls I built with reinforced steel

Turned into a prison that would not yield

Even to my hand, 

When, at last a man,

I came to understand

That in weakness there can be strength

In awkwardness, stealth

And underneath poverty, untold wealth.

When at last I opened my eyes

Finally beginning to realise

That I'd read the signs wrong

That I'd been brainwashed all along

Into thinking I needed to kill

All the while amassing debt in an unpayable bill,

Keeping me enslaved, effacing my will;

Leaving me numb, soulless and ill

But demanding more and even more still...

So I decided

It's time:

Time to let go

Time to strip off all the masks and pretense and ego

Time to look into the mirror and finally know

What's really there so I can undergo

The metamorphosis that must inevitably follow...

Time to put all I've learnt to the test.

Time to come face to face with my best.

Time to be strong and leave fear powerless.  

Time to be vulnerable, not time to hide.

And at the edge of this decision, I cried.

Shameless...

Passive Rebellion

Yes saying,

Over bending,

Bowing and scraping

For fear of hurting,

Of offending.

Knowing all the while

These grand benevolent gestures,

While the outworking of genuine inclination,

Go against the grain

Of what my heart desires.

Tug at the reins,

Get me out of bed.

Foot dragging,

Smile faking,

Anger suppressing,

Self denigrating,

Late arriving,

Phone call dodging...

Purely coincidental,

Or essentially symptomatic

Of a deeper ailment?

Guilty conscience tears away

At the fibre of my soul.

Laughter and joviality feigned and forced

Become a greater chore.

Want to run and hide away

Leave responsibility in the dust-

Oh to conform!

To give whole heartedly!

To be full and true!

Get past this insanity

Free to be me entirely!