Holding Pattern

We've been here before.

I recognise the landscape.

In 72 hours

How much could've changed?

But this isn't our first time

Circling this particular drain,

So  tell me why the hell

We'd want to try it again?

And yet, 

It's the same old refrain

On an infinite loop

I just can't seem to escape/break free from

The gravity around you.

Leaf in the Wind

I have no anchor.

I'm a leaf in the wind.

Unexpected.

That's what this is.

Cold turkey

And the shakes are setting in

It's a punch to the stomach

That's knocked out my wind

It's a knife in the gut

And I'm all but done in

Didn't build my world around you

You weren't my everything

Still I can't pretend it didn't matter

I feel my head begin to spin

I never saw it coming.

I never saw a thing.

I'm adrift without an anchor.

I'm a leaf in the wind.

Adrift without an anchor.

A leaf in the wind.

Slashed & Burned

Ruin and ash

Fires burning low

Treasure to trash

Where do I go?

My old world has ended

I screamed as it burned

My soul's resurrected

To ground zero returned.

Trying to figure out

Where I fit in

I sink into the ground;

Stop control-less spinning.

Others are gone

Yet still I remain

A small, fragile one

So I begin again.

Face to the night

Eyes open wide

Hoping this time

I'm on the right side.

Infiltrated

So you think you know it all.

You think you're safe.

You think your precautions

Are all that it will take

To keep you protected

And away from harm.

You put stock in technology

And cutting edge alarms.

Well,

You might have been right

But for all your strategizing

You forgot one thing,

That crucial element

You should've factored in.

You're smart and resourceful

But your adversary is more cunning still.

With honey on his tongue and jewel encrusted smile

He slowly took you in

And so you hesitated

When you should have made the kill.

And he laid low

For a hot minute or so

While you rested on the laurels

Of victories won long ago.

And so it happened

That while you slept,

He pressed the advantage

And silently crept

Through all your proud defenses,

Your walls and your electric fences.

All your hi-tech sensors have been undermined

Along with systems for early warning

And you have been kept blind.

But even now you cannot see

That it's too late

For, you see the enemy

Already stands within your gates.

Penitence

 He was once.

He was kind.

I know he was.

He was attentive

And knew how to love.

He was gentle,

A porcelaine doll.

He was strong

Never thought he'd ever fall.

He was a dreamer,

A beautiful mind.

He was a warrior 

With the soul of a child.

He wasn't perfect

But he gave me hope.

He gave me life 

With the words he spoke.

That's what he was.

Now he is lost.

Now he is broken

And I think it's my fault.

Return to Start

The two of us share a history

Or, shall we say,

A checkered past?

We got along so awkwardly

I'm not surprised 

Things fell apart.

We existed in each other's space

No more, no less

And somehow I just accepted it;

Told myself it was for the best.

I was hurt by you.

Felt estranged from you.

Abandoned.

You were the enemy.

The intruder.

The invader who

Had no business in my territory

Trying to bring law and order.

So I rebelled.

I used fire.

I raised hell.

But you weren't afraid

And you pushed back;

Asserted your claim.

So I gave up.

Retreated into myself.

Let my garden turn into a wilderness.

Shut myself up in a cave.

Packed myself in ice,

Thinking that would cool the flame.

Took no account of global warming

Or the fact things move in cyclical waves.

Now my winter forteress has melted

And I'm burning again.

So the only way to stop this cycle,

The only way to break this curse

Is to shift gears; move into reverse

And go back to the place

Where I should have started first.

Only time doesn't work like that.

You can never go back.

Least that's what I've learnt about the past:

You can't change it.

You don't get a do-over.

You remember it.

Until you don't

Because it no longer matters.

But it does to me 

And therein lies the problem.

So I've returned to you

For a healthy side of crow.

And I can't predict how this will end,

This only do I know:

You can't pull a relationship out of thin air.

You can't get back what never was.

But you've gotta start somewhere.

Gravitational

I want you.

I probably shouldn't.

But I want you.

Now I could say

That it's for your charm,

Your winning personality.

Only I don't really know you

But I know I want your body.

You draw me in;

I can't resist it.

You've got a pull,

And it's magnetic.

Perhaps it's got something to do

With pheromones,

Or maybe it's just that time of the month

And I'm on overload

Bursting at the seams

With a surplus of hormones.

Whatever it is,

I don't need to explain it.

I'm done overthinking

And I say f*** it!

I know that I want you.

And I'm going for it.