Big Boy Pants

I'd been expecting you

But you never showed up 

Why didnt you come?

Guess you called my bluff.

I spent my time

Hovering, it seems,

Between murky reality

And half lucid dreams.

Guess I was dodging the rough.

I'd always imagined 

That when you got here

Mysteries would unfold;

That my path would be clear.

Guess that was delusional stuff.

Eyes to the people

For a solution

Turned out to be nothing

But noise and confusion.

Then I decided 

To look on the inside

But found I couldn't live off

Hurt feelings and pride.

Guess I wasn't enough.

Severed the cord

But only in word

Time to cash in my actions;

See what my mouth's really worth.

Guess it's time for tough love. 

Unconscious Uncoupling

So close

We were the closest

Of friends

We were the bestest

Of loves

Ours was the greatest

Of falls

This was the hardest.

Your eyes told stories

Far beyond words

Never had to explain things

Emotions were heard

I could always tell what you were feeling

Like your own personal

Human mood ring

And you never had to ask

"Well what do you think?"

Cause we were in tune

On a wave and in sync.

Many times I've heard it said

That all good things

One day come to an end.

So then what about the bad?

What message does that send?

Kinda makes me second guess

The meaning of "friend".

Something's broken

Or else something's grown

And for some reason or other

We don't fit anymo'.

It just happened so quick though

Quicker even than I could follow.

This truly is a hard pill to swallow.
Guess you can never predict
How the wind's gonna blow,

Just like that, overnight,
you've become

A person that I used to know.

Broken

How do you fix something 

you don't even know is broken?

There's a rattling.

It's been going on for a while now;

Started out as something imperceptible

But I can hear it now.

Matter of fact, it's gotten quite loud.

There's a rattling sound.

Got so used to it over the years

That I'd quite forgotten it was ever there.

But I can hear it again.

It's gotten quite loud.

Loud enough to hear 

Above the buzzing of the crowd.

There's a rattliing sound.

And what it portends

I fear

Is that somewhere, something is broken

That I just can't seem to mend

Where it lies hidden, veiled and unseen

But this awareness,

This thing I've been trying not to feel

Is all I can think about.

It's become only too real.

There's a rattling tho'

And I can't put my finger on

The cause of the noise

Or tell where it's coming from.

But I'm certain in full

Not in seeming or in part

And it's a certainty that haunts me

Like the tell-tale heart.

And there's this damn rattling

Way down below

And it's chipping away 

At my self-control.

Meanwhile that piece that's been broken

And just can't be found

Has me losing my mind 

As I wander around

Searching in vain

For that rattling sound.

Older & Wiser

 

A hand extended,

Proferred but rejected.

Unsure of what 

The act portended,

Choosing rather to remain

Unmended.

And through long years

Left unattended.

By obscurity 

Befriended

'Til at last 

Unbidden, unheralded,

Came to pass the unexpected:

Come poetic second chance

The power

To redeem the past;

To regain that which you forsook

In the folly 

Of unlearned youth.

Come full circle

Initial rhyme 

Ever-turning 

Wheel of time.

What to do with second chance,

Which might just turn out to be the last?

Change the past,

Or take a pass?

Try something new

And unexpected.

Go beyond what you intended,

Face the fear,

The unknown, the dreaded.

Verdant olive branch

Extended,

And all broken fences

Mended.

Wildest hopes and dreams

Excelled.

Story over.

Happily ended.

Tunnel

I'm sad inside again.

I don't know why.

But I'm sad.

I wish I could explain 

All these blues and greys 

And sombre shades.

...But I can't.

They come just like winter rains

And I've just got to let them pass.

I don't know why I'm feeling sad

So don't bother to ask.

Sometimes there are highs;

Sometimes there are lows.

It's only a season; this won't last.

So there's no need to worry about me

I'll be alright.
You'll see.

I'm older now,

And wiser too

Somehow.

I'm not going to repeat the past.

This state I'm in won't get the win.

I'll be just fine. Just relax. 

I can't backtrack and I can't stand still.

Gotta move forward one step at a time.
So keep on your way,
While I go mine.

Just be faithful to your path
And in a little while

We'll meet up with each other again
Somewhere on the other side.

Fire Fall

Let the fire fall.

And we'll watch the hungry flames

Consume the land and the sky,

With the shoreline and the waves.

Yes.

Let the fire fall

While we bathe in the light 

That washes over all

And dances on the mountains.

Let it burn away the world.

Let the fire fall.

Let it fall I say.

Let it gorge on the corruption

That holds men to its sway.

Let it lap up the riches

Heaped up while others lay

Upon death's doorstep

Or in the thralls of poverty.

Let the fire fall

And let ambition

Come to nought.

Let all the conflicts whither

With the spoils over which we fought.

Let the fire fall.

Let it fall and be done.

And let a new creation grow

From ashes of the fallen one.

A Time to Forgive

There's a time and purpose

To everything:

A time to wound,

A time to heal;

A time to gather,

A time to spill,

A time to nurture,

A time to kill.

I've spent a lifetime battling

The way I feel-

I've cried, I have shouted,

I have made myself ill.

I've lied and denied 

To make the loss look like a win

So I wouldn't have to deal with

The pain I was in.

I said I was fine

When really I was strugglin',

Turned a blind eye to weakness;

Tried to cover up sin,

Until I got to the point

Where I started drownin'

Dangerously close

To the point of no returning.

Then, faced with a choice,

And no pretense to shroud it,

Between accepting the lifeline

Floating where I could reach it

And falling into darkness

With no light to ease it.

Fiercely determined 

That I would yet live,

I reached for the cord

And I tightened my grip. 

Now one thing remained 

To get out of guilt

I had to lighten my load

For I was too heavy to lift.

So releasing the tension,

I stopped gritting my teeth

And felt life returning

As I chose to forgive.